Facts

I am not a saint , and in my vicinity , no one is . Every night before I go to sleep , I contemplate how the days are passing . I was born on 25th Sep,1986 . Its been almost 24.5 years and I have achieved what the world wanted me to . I've a degree and am working "Happily" in Samsung India Software Operations ,Bangalore .I'm not posting a resume , just writing off facts .

So to say ,as I see it , may be 10 years from now , I ll be some manager in some company ,and again "Happily" guiding people for the better of the company . A normal citizen , a normal life . And some 25 years from then I would have departed ,again as some normal person who led a normal life .And so I feel very abnormal about it . Isn't life to have some meaning ?

I feel , may be , I'm too pessimistic . Not considering the upper hand that has been blessed upon me from the Almighty . I can have food , money , a house to live in and every basic necessities . But then ,are these necessities the meaning of life . I don't, I would say in that case , understand the meaning of the phrase "meaning of life " ,I'm too confused !!

Then maybe , life is about giving back to this world . May be , for the timebeing , as things have evolved , a genuine purpose can be to get the human world at par . At least , the purpose I'm talking about can serve the lesser blessed ones !! One day,then may be , we wont have children dying in the arms of their mothers , a naked man on the platform begging for that 1 Re. we so much hesitate to part with , the poor boy doesn't need to be battered for not having delivered the food in time because he couldn't walk on his one feet . Would that make a life worthwhile ,or is it too much to ask ?

I'm sure , my dear readers , this pity resides in your core somewhere . But the problem is in the execution , because then , in serving , you loose the life that makes money for you , the abstract instrument that plays the abstract notes of this mechanical life and you endear this already worthless life so much that you clearly overlook the worth of this one deed . Indeed , I'm no different . And that is where it all ends up , we move on ,but always navigate the same periphery , contemplating and moving on again !!

Or is life about making the best out of it , being happy in everything you do ,learning and then taking giant leaps ? I term that as the professional sense of life , the "Karma".Is "Karma" so much associated with the hearts that it can genuinely make a person happy ? Then I've not known it , the God in me has died and didn't tell me a word while parting .But then there are crores of people working in this one industry , is this "Karma" to all of them ? Or is the "Karma" only about feeding your dependents ? So , if so many a people follow "Karma" so handsomely , this world should have been a heaven already . Envy , hatred , killing would not have been the order of the days . Isn't it sad , that after having so many religions to preach , we can't follow a single one ? A single goal , I m sure (though not so much of an atheist ), of these religions , is to profess brotherhood , but that didn't happen in families themselves,forget the human race .

I am not mocking you , my readers , I'm mocking myself , the environment around me , and the fact that everyone has become centered to himself . The fact that the name , the "country ", that had bound us together is , sadly, nothing for us . That is a very brave statement to make , but look beyond that ego , which roots itself that u salute your flag on the 15th of August every year . Look , how we are literate men, shackled in the chains of an unknown and worthless lust.Look how we are so indifferent to some who are different and braver than us ,so much so that they fight for us and even die , but we , like the rocks on the sea-coast just watch the waves coming and going .

The Logic Of Insanity

A long time had it been . Our life would have fallen in the best of paradigms of what normalcy is . It had been smooth , easy as the word and flowing with the word go . In this world, where they defined the law of humanity and society , we ,to say ,in its embodiment, did not lead from the front , but weren’t too far behind . With the idea of the youth , to form the rebels , we sadly fell prey , circumstantially or apparently, to what we really hated , being normal !

It had been full-fledged duration of some five years when we had met last . Electronic equipments are one thing , they seem and claim to bring people closer , but it was different . Heart to heart , should the words express the truth behind. In this very small town called Gorakhpur , we hardly ever evolved through the boon or curse (you choose ) , of mediocrity . Our life was never one which had the soothe of the cool winds , nor were we endowed with the serenity of the night . And when we had them , it was all alone , when we were left to feel it , but the best things in those times , we missed , Friends !!

Of late , I had an attack of a streak of imagination or innovation , whatever , and named my oldest pal Apurva , Pashchim . His Hindi was a bit on the French side for him , so as we believed , he took some time to get par with the logic . Anyways , on the night of 20^th March, at around 11:30 , with a deliberate thought for nuisance, we “sneaked” out of our houses , boarded Abhinav’s newly wed i20 and left . For us , it was an attempt, out of the blue . When u are in a place as small as Gorakhpur , it is considered to be “NOT SO AUGUST” an idea, with people in your locality getting rampant thoughts of pity for the parents ,should they have a sight of the escape and of pride , that their children are “too well born” and the rest. Well, we left . Not very sure of what and why we were doing it , but it sure had to be exciting. And the five of us drove. We had left our lives to Abhinav, our driver , just for the time I mean !!

And I had all the time in the world now to understand what was going on . With the lyrics from the “Poets of the falls”, and the intoxication of the night , my mind, after a really long time , fell asleep , rested and then arose to my friends . And all the memories came flying by . Our childhood , and the unknown bonds we had in the differences, the way we filled the holes and didn’t know ever .We played our guts out sometimes to prove the better , never studied but always wanted to be the scholars , and the rides on the bicycles , the envy when someone got a Sunny ,all of them . And then at that moment I realized why we didn’t want to be normal ever. Because being normal means u loose the most cherished part ,the purest one ,from your inside and fall to the hands of the lust to show off the bleakness and emptiness of lesser mortal elements . How shitty are these normal people !! How shitty I am getting to be , YUKKKKK!!!

Well then , we drove with the cool winds to a place called the Ramgarh Taal , a place , you may say to be the paradise for this place. The moon was the hyped SUPER MOON ,and the small flutters on the surface, disturbed with our presence ,glittered as silver . A light house, which Mr. Winkle Singh , conferred , were the reflections from the surface , a place in the pond which was slightly “distorted ” because of the “slant ” there , was only one happy with our presence . Well to introduce u , Mr. Singh is a highly reverenced Probationary Officer in the UBI , in case u have taken himself for an insanely technical poet [:D] .. But it can do it to u , the leverage of being one ,and not being noticed, that’s friendship !! [;)]

And we reminisced the beauty that came to our minds with the another one that stood before us, our past . And the hearts wept , giggled and came to “LIVES”. And we talked of the lives , made fun of one another , inebriated just a ‘LITTLE’ and were on our way back . It felt like an unknown promise we were meaning to keep , that we’ll be in touch after this one experience , forever . And u , my dear readers , would by this time would have understood , the meaning of what is ‘Heart to heart’ !!

What we’re in now is a difference . We have expended too much for the abstract. At least for me , the monotony is far behind now . Friends are back . The life is back . At least now , when I sit at my desk and code , there can be livelier moments I can think off . Of how we were rendered ‘naked’ in the mask of the festivity , how we smoothened our hearts with the rocks of the poets and how we, my friends , became the insane poets , the logicless ones , with no idea of words , none to compose a song , but the pride to have sneaked to bring back something, so important , from the dead of the past !!

MISS U BUDDIES . NOW MORE THAN EVER !! LOVE YA ALL !!